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Man Utd: Director’s Cut – Ep 9: It takes a genius to know a genius

When we last left Roy Keane and his Man Utd team they were parked in 3rd place halfway through the 2020/21 Premier League. The team were also through to the first knockout round of the Champions League and still in both domestic cups. The Man Utd fans were hoping for trophies and rightfully so!

Painting Manchester blue

As you are well aware there is not only one team in Manchester though. The blue team did everything in their power to retain the league title and they did it in good old fashion, by spending loads of cash!

During the January transfer window Manchester City spent a whooping $274M on four players. The acquisitions of Tammy Abraham, Gedson Fernandes, Erling “Fuckface” Haaland and Max Aarons showed that Man City really meant business, in case anyone had doubted that beforehand. Man United then, you wonder? How did Man United counter this demonstration of strength? Well, not at all really. And that was for two reasons basically; no money and no money. Even though Roy Keane proclaimed that he was satisfied with his current squad and didn’t see any need for “panic signings” that was only half the truth. The reality was that he had spent the entire transfer budget going into the season and therefore couldn’t afford any more signings.

From Benfica for £3.5M. DNA Rating 7.

Well, he made one signing, but it was certainly nothing compared to the Man City shopping spree. This was basically a deal too good to turn down. With heaps of potential it’ll be exciting to see if young Martim Neto can develop well enough to earn a spot in the first team.

You are getting anxious, are you? Enough with the rambling! You wanna know if Manchester was painted in blue or red? Well, let’s look at how the team actually performed in the second half of the season, then!

Premier League

Well, there was good news and bad news. The good news was that Man City bottled it to a red club. The bad news was that the red club wasn’t Man United, it was Liverpool.

Man United were never really close to winning the title. They actually remained in third place throughout the entire second half of the season. The result was in line with the board’s expectations of challenging for the title, but the fans were a bit disappointed by the lack of excitement. Liverpool managed to slip past Man City and stop them at three consecutive titles. Tottenham finished in 4th, with West Ham being the big surprise, finishing in 5th.

Champions League

Liverpool proved too difficult in the Champions League as well. A strong Man Utd performance saw them reach the semi final after beating Real Madrid, and looked like they had a slight chance after a draw at home to Liverpool. Away at Anfield there was no question what team was the best one, when Liverpool won comfortably with 4-0, ending the Man Utd European dream. Liverpool then went on to win their third consecutive Champions League title!

Were there no silverware this season, you wonder? Well yeas and no. Not the silverware that Roy Keane really wanted, no Premier League or Champions League, but the fans got to smile a bit in the end at least!

The FA Cup

After an FA Cup run that can only be described as rock solid, Roy Keane’s men got to lift the trophy. Watford in the final was perhaps the easiest opposition in the entire cup this season, or what do you think? Bournemouth, Leicester, Chelsea and Liverpool were all beat 3-0 on Man Utd’s way to the final where they beat Watford 2-0 in a quite uneventful game.

Player performances

With the FA Cup title, a 3rd place finish in the Premier League and a semi final in the Champions League this actually turned into a decent season. Not a season that will be remembered by the fans forever, but still a decent season. The team are showing steady signs of improvement and the new players are really proving to be worth the money spent.

When looking at the player performances a couple of things stand out, besides that fact that almost all players performed at least up to par. Rashford and Greenwood scored 46 goals between them, which is more than decent, but they were not the best players on the team. New signing midfielder-turned-wingback Lorenzo Pellegrini managed 7 goals in 12 assists and an amazing average rating of 7.51!

This didn’t go unnoticed by the fans that voted him Player of the Season with 74% of the votes. He also won Goal of the Season, Young Player of the Season and obviously Signing of the Season. If you are the best player in a fairly strong Man United you must be considered a good signing, even if you cost $80M.

Roy Keane making friends!

Off the pitch Roy Keane didn’t see the need to add more people to his death list. Most people had learnt their lesson by now and simply avoided any contact with him. This was all fine and dandy for Roy Keane, most other managers were idiots or cunts anyway. Most people stayed away, but not all.

The Argentinian idiot Mauricio Pochettino didn’t seem to learn anything, no matter how many lessons he got. Roy Keane didn’t bother with his whining though. He had proven that he was the superior manager, both on and off the pitch, over and over again. If Pochettino couldn’t accept that simple fact, then it was probably because of some mental retardation. Roy Keane felt a bit sorry for him.

As the people standing in Roy Keane’s way got fewer and fewer he actually got the chance to make a couple of friends, or at least rekindle two old friendships.

The Neville brothers come back to United as coaches. Their attributes may not be excellent, but they are both true Man Utd men with excellent personalities and will hopefully help mold the younger players into the next golden Man Utd generation! They certainly know what it takes and will play an important in transferring their experience to the younger players.

Roy Keane also actually made one real friend. Out of nowhere a beautiful friendship between two grown men started to blossom. Man Utd beat Crystal Palace to no-ones surprise. Roy Keane and his team had given yet another team and another manager a lesson in modern football, but the big surprise was that this manager was actually thankful for the lesson!

Crystal Palace manager Gennaro Gattuso couldn’t hide his admiration for Roy Keane in the pre-game press conference, which made Roy Keane experience a strange warm fuzzy feeling inside of him. Perhaps this was what other people called happiness? Well, Roy Keane simply replied “It takes a genius to know a genius” and smiled back at the grinning Italian. When the game ended the two united in a hug that lasted at least a couple of seconds too long. But did either of them care? No, of course not. This was true love.

Next season

A decent season. Players improving. Small steps taken towards a new era. The team, fans and board alike are all quite optimistic going forward, but now things are starting to get real. The board’s expectation for the 2021/22 season is a Premier League title, nothing less. It’s time for Roy Keane to step up and make this team into a group of champions!

Finances that grow more and more stable for each year also provides the possibility to keep strengthening the squad. In this modern football era £137M is not as much money as one would think, but with a couple of sales this can perhaps be turned into a sum large enough to bring in a couple of key signings, making Man Utd into a true title competitor!

Well, everything looks decent going forwards, but things could quickly go south, especially with an erratic Roy Keane at the helm. Join me for the next episode where we’ll look at the 2021/22 pre-season where Roy Keane keeps adding pieces to the Man Utd puzzle. Will he be able to create the greatest team ever or will the crumble under the increasing pressure? The only way to find out is by reading the next episode. Until then,

take that you cunt!

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